


Selfish Bear's Worries

by Carmilla_Bunni



Category: BanG Dream! Girl's Band Party! (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Crying, F/F, Hurt/Comfort, Nightmare
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-04
Updated: 2018-10-04
Packaged: 2019-07-25 03:37:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,291
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16189268
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Carmilla_Bunni/pseuds/Carmilla_Bunni
Summary: Misaki feels insecure about her relationship with Kokoro, and that insecurity is giving her nightmares.





	Selfish Bear's Worries

Soft. Kokoro's lips were so soft. Misaki couldn't help but lean into it, gently pushing the happy-go-lucky blond onto her back. Every kiss she gave her, Kokoro accepted wholeheartedly. Her eyes had that same shine as when the band was practicing or doing some event, but right now that shine was all for Misaki.

"Mine. Mine. You're mine." That selfish feeling echoed in Misaki's head, pushing her to keep going. It made her want to make every part of Kokoro hers. One of her greedy hands started sliding up Kokoro's pale thigh, under the skirt of her pretty black dress.

"Ah, Misaki..." Kokoro moaned as Misaki pulled away from their kiss. Her cheeks were red and she was panting heavily. Misaki was sure she looked much the same.

"Kokoro, I wanna keep going. I wanna have sex with you," Misaki confessed, struggling to hold herself back. She ached. She needed it. After all, if they didn't, then...

Kokoro interrupted that thought with a quizzical expression and a tilt of her head. "Misaki... What's sex?"

 

Misaki woke up in a cold sweat. She felt like a trainwreck. Her eyes were puffy and swollen, and she couldn't stop shivering.

"Ugh... I hate this."

She'd been having this nightmare ever since she started going out with Kokoro.

"I don't really get that stuff, but it sounds like fun!" Kokoro had said when Misaki confessed.

Since then, they'd gone on a date, and even kissed a couple times, but none of it put her mind at ease. Every night, she'd have one of these nightmares again. Either of Kokoro being too childish to know about the things Misaki wanted to do with her, or, far worse, finding out that Kokoro had already done this sort of stuff before and thought of it as nothing more than a fun thing she did with friends.

Asking someone like Kokoro out was a mistake. Misaki was too insecure and too selfish for a relationship with a girl like Kokoro. Kokoro was kind and fun to be around. She brought a joy to Misaki's life that she'd never known before their band. Kokoro would never really belong to her, tho, and that was scary.

With considerable effort, Misaki dragged herself out of bed and to the bathroom. She looked at her reflection and splashed some water in her face a few times.

"I look like shit." Misaki laughed. Now that it'd come to this, Misaki knew she should just break up with Kokoro. It was what's best for both of them. As soon as she thought that, she started to cry.

 

Kokoro let out a long sigh. It was out of character for her to be down like this. She was sitting in one of the second year classrooms, having lunch with Kanon and Hagumi. Both of them couldn't help but worry, seeing Kokoro in a sad mood like this.

"Um, Kokoro-chan, you should try to finish your lunch before the break ends," Kanon suggested, forcing a smile.

Hagumi chimed in, "Yeah! It looks really yummy, Kokoron! Don't let it go to waste!"

Kokoro just sighed again. "I wanted to have lunch with all four of us, but Misaki disappeared..."

Kanon and Hagumi shot each other nervous glances and let out sighs of their own. This was the third day of this, of Misaki avoiding Kokoro, and it was getting hard to watch. The first day Kokoro had just laughed it off. The second she tried a little too hard to be positive that Misaki would be there tomorrow. Now, even Kokoro couldn't hide her sadness.

"Kokoro-chan, did something happen between you two?" Kanon asked. Maybe she could help. After all, Misaki and Kokoro had both done so much for her.

Kokoro shook her head. "We went on a date on the weekend, but we both had fun. Misaki was smiling, and we even kissed!"

Hagumi and Kanon both blushed hearing that.

"Maybe Mi-kun is embarrassed?" Hagumi wished she knew anything about romance or relationships at times like this.

"Maybe..." Kokoro sighed yet again.

Then, Kanon had an idea. It felt a little dishonest, but...

 

Misaki nervously bounced her leg. She was sitting at one of the tables outside Circle, waiting for Kanon to show up. She'd said she wanted to talk about something, but now she was late. Misaki just hoped she hadn't gotten lost again.

"Misaki?" a voice called out. It was the voice of Misaki's girlfriend, and hearing it now made her freeze in place.

Slowly, she turned around, and saw a side of Kokoro she'd never seen before. Her blond girlfriend had tears in her eyes, and her hands were balled up into fists at her sides.

"Kokoro?" Misaki felt like the bottom had just dropped out of her stomach, or like someone had just reached inside her and twisted.

This was her fault. She had to take responsibility. Misaki ran over to Kokoro and took her hand.

"C'mon, let's go somewhere with fewer people." At least for now, Kokoro was still her girlfriend. Misaki should at least act like one.

They ended up sitting in a nearby park, where they had a little bit more privacy.

It took a while for Kokoro to calm down enough to say anything, but she eventually asked, "Did I do something wrong, Misaki?"

Misaki winced. It hurt to know she was the one making Kokoro this upset. The Kokoro who seemed like she wasn't capable of being down or pessimistic. The Kokoro who wanted to make everyone in the whole world happy. Misaki had made that Kokoro cry.

"No, you didn't." Misaki didn't even know where to begin to explain herself.

"Why have you been avoiding me? You came when Kanon asked you to, but you didn't answer any of my messages."

Misaki wasn't sure how to answer that. After a long pause, she decided, "...because I'm selfish."

"Why would that make you avoid me? Do you not like me anymore?"

"No! No... Ever since I asked you out, I keep having these selfish thoughts. Like, that I want you to be all mine, or that I wanna do things with you to make you all mine. I don't like that part of myself. I didn't know that part of myself existed."

Kokoro wiped the tears from her eyes. "I don't understand. If you want me, then why are you avoiding me?"

Misaki sighed. "Because it's not fair to you. Wanting to be the only one you go on dates with, the only one you kiss, stuff like that... I feel like having you all to myself would just make you sad."

Kokoro's sad, confused expression turned very stern, and she asked, "Why didn't you ask me?"

"I-" Misaki started, but the words caught in her throat. She didn't have a good reason. She knew that much. She took a deep breath, then continued, "I was scared that you'd just say it was fine to make me happy."

Kokoro frowned, stood up, and then sat down in Misaki's lap, facing her. Something in Misaki's brain short-circuited. Her face went a bright red.

"Misaki, hiding from me is mean. Not telling me what's wrong is mean. If Misaki wants parts of me all to herself, she should be nicer to me." Kokoro followed up these words with a kiss, then said, "Okay?"

Misaki didn't know how long she'd been close to tears while talking with Kokoro, but that kiss broke the dam.

"I'm sorry... I'm so sorry..." Misaki sobbed, burying her face against Kokoro.

"It'll be okay," Kokoro reassured her, petting her gently. "Make sure you apologize to the others at school tomorrow."

"Yeah, I will."

"Apologize to Michelle, too. I'm sure she's been worried about you."

"Y-yeah... Okay..."

**Author's Note:**

> I looked at a lot of Misaki x Kokoro fanart recently, and while the ship makes no sense to me I decided I'd try to write it how I'd imagine that relationship could work. I hope I did okay at that and that people enjoyed the fic.


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